Wednesday, June 27, 2007

biggest concern at the moment

oh gosh.

already 2 nights i slept for only about 5 hours. >< imagine how tiring is it. i really feel exhausted from the day i came to singapore after the holiday. my mind and my body are both tiredd. my mind is occupied with so many things. i cannot put it out of my head ^#&*$*#^!! and then NOW i suppose to do my physics homework instead of chatting and friendster-ing all evening long. i dont have the mood to do my work. it's so boringggg. not boring actually. that's just an excuse i put in my mind. i just feel like slacking.

ASEAN dance occupies my mind this evening. because this saturday i will have workshop. leadership workshop that i feel very lazy to attend but no CHOICE! and then i feel like my concern about asean dance getting greater and greater. i am one of the 20 organizer. organize this thing for hundreds of ppl. i cannot let my ignorance get into me. i have to do my duty. i want to be a good asean commitee. i never do organizing such a big event like this before. but let this be my first experience. and i want this to be a good event. i will be disappointed with myself if i dont do my best for this thing. i feel stressed. yes i am but i think i have to do my best for this coming soon event. after that i can slacking again as i want.


OK LHA. my writing become more out of topic. i feel dizzy and sleepy.
means time for sleep. but i cannot sleep now so i do my physics first.


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

why so cruel?

tonight i feel really down.

i just feel dont belong here. in my school, class especially. i didnt feel this before. I admit i once felt like this before also but not this bad. i began to really sick of this and i miss my home a lot. my mom my dad my sister my dog.. and that makes me not able to think. to use my brain to work. i cannot concentrate, man! i just tired of all this.

please lha. life, dont be so cruel.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

waiting til september.

i really dont feel like doing anything this time besides slacking all day long on my bed, with laptop on my lap.

i thought if i go spore earlier i can finish my homeworks here. in fact, i cannot concentrate a single while becoz my mind is still at home.

i have spent these last 2 weeks in my home, taking my own leisure time and really enjoy myself. now i have to start doing all the boring things againnnnn.....

i dont know is there anyone else got same feeling as mine or not. or just me? IS IT JUST MEE?
i really dont feel okay right now. from outside, i may look as cheerful as usual. but inside, it's very gloomy n dark.

I cannot wait until september, one week holiday. anyway, it is not a long time actually. only 1 week and 2 months to go. COME ON TIME.. PLEASE MOVE ON FASTER.

Friday, June 22, 2007

mood buruk sangat

back agaiin on the land of pressure and stresses.

no more fluffy-supercomfortable-pillow-and-bolster, no more airconditioner that keep me feel chilly all the time and keep me under the softener-smelling-and-smooth-pink-blanket, no more Mom that never hesitate to adjust my head on the pillow, and no more Mimi that usually sleep and fill the silence blanketed the night with her snore =P no more tail wagging while a brown-and-deep-set-of-eyes following me from the room anymore. no more kitchen where i can see my mom preparing her special delicacies for the family. no more watching-dvd-all-day-long-routine with my mom, accompanied by a big sack of chitato.

now i am sitting on my bed in my small, dim bedroom with the sound of the fan moving and the wind from the fan that blow my legs very uncomfortably. i am wondering what will i do tomorrow (i mean today. o gosh already 2 am. )

when i opened my phone tonight i was bombardized with sms-es that brings me unpleasant mood. OCIP after glow. apaan seh tuh? ga penting bgt. trus itu bakal jadi kewajiban bwt smuanya n pasti bakal makan waktu lama. dari jam 6 smpe jam 8! ih rese kali. sebel bgt deh. ga penting ga penting. bakal diadain dlm wktu dekat. HARI JUMAT DEPAN. sial sial sial
urgggh. 2 guru yg ikut wktu itu ky ga ada kerjaan aja ngadain ky gituan sgala seh. apa2an tuh. sementara itu ms ada byk hal laen yg hrs dkerjain lagi. kapan seh ini smua berakhir???

gw pengen cepet2 ASEAN Dance selesei. cpetan lah akhirin miting2 melelahkan di tempat yg jauhnya stenga mampus di Oldham (maap, agak hiperbol. tp lg kesel bgt soalnya). kenapa diadainnya disitu seh? bwt yg hostel laen emg deket tp bwt yg di VH?
SPARKS is the other thing. cape bgt tau ga seh bawa2 gelas n pop ice yg byk bgt n makan tempat byk. koper gw didominasi sm benda2 itu bwt bazaar dan gw ga ada ruang lagi bwt bawa barang2 pribadi gw. SEBEL GA SEHHH. trus mreka harus sediain blenderrr. ga mau tau...

LAST OF ALL. smua ini akibat mood ga baik abis nyampe singapur n rasanya pengen nangis aja tau gak sehhhhh.
dulu sih rasanya ga gtu keberatan diambil 1atw 2 minggu bwt tuition atau apa tetek bengek itu..

september harus pulang. HARUUSSSS! bwee bwee

Thursday, June 21, 2007

i'm leaving soon :'(

the day that i expected to never come eventually come and i only have less than 12 hours at home. T.T thinking about leaving home is very difficult n hard. i'm so heavy to get all my things ready becoz there is a feeling not to miss home again. going back singapore seems a very bad thing especially monday is schoolday again (DAMMNN NOOO!) i need someone to remind me next time not to take flight on days like this. I should have booked ticket for Sunday. dont care the next day already schoolday. but i suppose to have 2 more days here but i booked for today's ticket. i cannot do anything about it now.
i cannot imagine myself in spore again after these 2 weeks i really enjoy the time in Jakarta. however anyway this place is really my home and i understand now ppl who have experienced this kind of feeling long long time before me of how is the feeling to go away from home. when i am in spore i seldom get this feeling but now when i'm not there anymore n i'm at my home, this feeling is getting stronger n make me hesitate to leave again.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

less than 48 hour in jkt

ohayou! still early in the morning but kind of having mood to do some postings. and anyways i'm checking also whether some ppl already visit this nu blog or not. and also, wanna ask if anyone know Pile's blog address? the old one is no more already i think.
THE TOPIC FOR TODAY is about how short my time left in Jakarta!!!! T.T
Tonight will be the last night i spend here >< hiks. i dont feel like going back there n study. uggh. the idea of going back to school n spend 10 hours at school everyday make me sick. why the holiday end so soon eh? i regret that my ticket is for tomorrow night. i wonder if i take the ticket for Sunday. at least still have 2 or 3 days here. HUHUHUHUHU. i never expect that it will be this hard to leave hometown once i am back at Jakarta again.
still have some things not accomplished anyway. such as :
- SS mindmap
- bio worksheets
- malay essay (damnnn)
- geography notecards.
ARGGHH. all those things give me headache only. OOOOOOOHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..
i really really want to stay here forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

melancholic rhytym of my life

just like when i first made my blog, i always do many postings. haha. typical excitement man! actually, there ARE a lot of things i want to write here from long time ago but just today i got a chance to create this page. i am really really sad right now remembering this Friday i have to get back to spore already. this holiday seems so soon and also i havent done my homework. so it means I GOT WORK TO DO in my lovely *sarcastic* hostel. i wish i can go back to the day i went back home. which is on Friday 2 weeks ago. i wish i still have 2 more weeks to spend in Jakarta! i didnt think it will be this hard to leave home. Everything i have here just perfect. even more if i compare to the sucking life in spore (i am very bitter about my life there. don't know why). school life seems very boring. the schoolmates are quite different with those i have in my former school. there is no excitement to go to school to meet friends. i just cannot adapt right away in the school there. oh gosh. i didnt think it will be this harsh the life in spore. i am thinking of way to spend my precious time that is left here and i wish i will now miss my home once i got back in hostel. all the warmth of my family and home that cannot be replaced with anything in this world. I would not be able to enjoy my mom's cook, sleep in super duper comfortable cozy homey bedroom, sitting in a very familiar family room where i usually spend my evenings in front of TV since i was very little.. *sobs*
i feel so sick now when i think of spore and all the responsibilities i have there. i wish 4 years will go by soon n the contract is over! then i can lead a carefree life! Now i only wish for September to come SOOONN!!!